Truthful Confession
11/27/2019
the numbing thats in my skull
is something that will appall
something that will make me fall
at at this point in time
i think im down to end it all
I want to lie
i want to hide
behind this mask
whos rule i abide to
whose law im confined to
whose pool i get drowned to
blood on my shirt
obviously im hurt
but who cares now
this is my world
this is my word
this is my hurt
this is what i learned
this is all the poetry i lean on
something that ive been on
wishing that i were different
wishing that i could slit wristed
all these people telling lies
telling me i can not die
but who are they to change my life
this is my land and my time
i wont let you bless my ride
cause ill shoot those blessings to the ground
im trying and im trying
to stop myself from lying
to stop myself from crying
but by god can i not help it
Ive been lying
ive been trying to stop lying
Those way past poems from todays eternity
from those bouncing on the lines
unable to keep myself sturdy
I even said in those lines and in the stanzas
i cry and cry but thats not right
I lied
I cried for attention
not the tear shed
I wanted the compliments and the sympathy
I wanted the attention and all everyone gave me
cause thats what made me feel alive
though my lies sting worse than a bee hive
I know my hearts the same as yours
i know my blood spills no more than yours
I know our brains are mere the same
But lying is the only thing that tends to keep me sane
god only knows how much i want to be better
God only knows how much i want to write a letter
but even to the tiny details
Saying the brain that wants do die
that again is another lie
now gosh i know what your thinking
how can i trust this jester
how is he any better
but as Tyler Joseph says oh so many times
don't forget about me
don't doubt me
im sorry for doubting you
im sorry for worrying you
im sorry for lying to you
im sorry for fake crying to you
im sorry for bleeding to you
im sorry for seething over you
im sorry for the empathy that may have spilled over you
and gosh we all save the best for last huh
im sorry for implementing you
who knows the stress that may cause
who knows how many people grew claws
to tear open their own heart
just to save mine
im not that bad i promise
i just dont have control over my own mind
Ive said it before
ive read it before
i sway between those lines
and if i wasn't vocal now
i don't know how
but im all over the minus sign
now don't disregard the plus sign
it gets its fair share of re-design
Im on the plus sign more than i say i am
im mostly happy
i wont lie about that
but its when i get sad
where i write these paragraphs
so this is how you may know me
but don't let this perfectly show me
cause im more than a mirror
of a blackened heart
and a blackened terror
there's only a few loose screws
that need some tightening
cause once im repaired
the enemy finds me frightening
and he who has strength in simple mind
is one who controls their time
im im here for the ride thats for sure
and please, stay with me
No comments:
Post a Comment